Amazed

2012 was a horrible year. I hated it so much...if it wasn't one thing it was another. Well, I got to change some things around and started working on my happiness. Got back into my blog, noting and writing about my journey, looking into really wanting to help and change others’ lives, even with my own crazy story. I wanted to be in charge of my life and how I was going to handle and react to things. That is hard for me since I never have been really happy with myself, never knew how to make myself stop being so angry, and my reaction time was always 0-mad angry within seconds. So I started to change.

Yes, there have been some hiccups along the way, I have stopped trying and went back to my Debby Downer ways, or I would be the victim, instead of rescuing myself. However, when December 31, 2012 came and I celebrated it on the road with my twins as we were driving from Arizona to Colorado Springs, CO...I realized that I was happy...that I really loved me. I was on my way to making 2013 a really good year. Don't get me wrong its been a bit of a mess at some points, but hearing from people saying that they've noticed my changes, or that others let me know they are inspired by me (I know right lol) that it made me want to be better.

March to April was really tough. I felt a bit betrayed and hurt by someone I cared about and that took me for a bit of a loop on this journey. However, after much prayer, much crying, and much "Erika, just stop it." I finally have let that part of my life go. It happened, I didn't change it or speak up, and now it is done. However, the friends that I have had that have helped me out...simply floored me. The ones that picked me up emotionally, physically, mentally, and financially, I couldn’t believe I had so much love given to me.

When I decided to change my course of life in 2012, I let go of many people who I barely spoke to, people who continuously used me for their gain, and others that I knew there wasn't going to be nothing there. Instead, I started speaking more to those that were and have been my friends. A group of ladies that have helped me out with encouraging words, to my best friend for just keeping it real with me, to my mom and family just being supportive, letting me rant.

So when everything happened in March and April, I thought I was alone, but it was those friends, the ones I had laid roots with, the family that weren't blood related but still were family...they came to my rescue and I have loved that ever since.

In our life, we have people who come into our life for moments, for seconds, to be there to teach us something or for us to teach them something. We have people in our life who we believe are our friends, but turn out to be not. I named this post Amazed because I am, once again, amazed by how our life changes, how many friends I have, how things have been happening for me and working with me and teaching me lessons. I am amazed that I get so much love from the twins, amazed by my own talents, strengths, and my friends.

2013 has been rough but it has been amazing as well. I got a job after not having one for five months, I got my tooth pulled on Tuesday and on Wednesday, after work, my daughter simply came up to me and rubbed my face and goes "Mommy, how are you feeling? Can I kiss your ouchie?" How amazing is a child’s love!?!?  This year may have a rocky start, but its going to have a great middle and a fantastic end.

How have you been amazed?

A Great Weekend

Besides the weekend being a great time to enjoy one selves anyways, it is important for us to take the times we do have to really enjoy these moments. This weekend the twins and I really enjoyed ourselves and I have the pictures to prove it. 

I met some awesome bloggers and connected on Twitter with them. This for me is a bonus because one of my goals is to become a really successful blogger, and have lots of followers, and really be useful in the blogging community…however, my first main goal is to get more followers on my blog page and my Facebook page (link listed below). I love being a blogger and have made some amazing friends by learning more about blogging and reaching out to others on FB. 

My other awesome weekend moment was watching my son “swim”. He doesn’t get into the pool much, he has his moments where he can put his feet in but nothing…but this weekend he shined. From dipping into the hot tub and “swimming” underneath the pool, dipping his head underneath and playing shark. I was shocked and so proud of him.

If you live in Colorado Springs, Co there is something that happens every Memorial Day, it’s called Territory Days. It’s a three day Memorial Weekend tradition, however, it is a little bit more commercial than what it was but it’s a fun and lovely way to spend the weekend. It was a blast, we got some ice cream, a few bubble toys, and two lovely hats that were on sale.

I got to see my best friend Katera and her son, and another good friend, JoElena, and her lovely son and brother. I miss being around my friends and need to start being more of a social person and really reaching out to people. I missed a good friend who was close but not close, I really wanted to meet her in person, but I couldn’t. 

I’ve also made some goals and some spiritual goals I want to focus on too. I need to be more diligent with things and really get myself into getting these set. I hope that you had a fantastic, lovely, fun, bbq filled, Memorial Day Weekend. 

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What makes a day perfect?

...I don't know about you, but my kids seem to do the trick! I tend to carry a lot of stress in my shoulders and my back. I don't have too many girlfriends and I don't gossip or do anything of that nature, I tend to keep to myself. I am very social, love being around people, but lately I have been so focused on my stress, it has been hard to be "me". 

Today I took a moment and stepped back from everything going on and realized that I missed not having too much stress, that I missed being stress free. I had a few things going on these past few months that cause this stress, but I soon noticed that no matter what I do, the bills will still b there, the worry, the stress...its not going any where.

So, in stepping back today, I had an amazing day with the twins. Even stressed out, I could have an amazing day with them. They literally light up my life with their ways. I enjoy everything about them. My blog post today is just ramblings from yesterday. I enjoyed their laughter, their jumping up and down, my daughters tumbling (cant wait for her tumbling/dance classes to start), my sons innocent smile and the way his eyes light up when he does smile, and my sons stutter (its amazingly cute). I enjoyed just being a mom today! We went swimming...correction, my kids went swimming. I dislike our new pool in our apartment community. They tore out a perfectly good one (9feet, I might add), to replace it with a 5 foot, freezing cold pool. They say its heated but its solar panel heated, meaning if it only gets to 70...then the pool is only at 60. It is the dumbest thing and the whole community hates it, except the UCCS students who now are residents there since UCCS master leased two buildings...oh, I digress.

So, back to being a mom...today was splendid and super amazing. There isn't hardly ever anything to do in Colorado Springs, you always have to go up to Denver. However, I was reminded that the Territory Days are going on this weekend and I am taking the twins shortly. This is a huge vendor event, from all types of vendors, DIY, jewelry, candles, makeup, food (my fav) and musicians of all types, bands in different locations to wow each type of Coloradoan, and loads of just fun! I can't wait to show you all some amazing pictures!

Today taught me a lot though...I cant control what others do (even though I try...it is a Swift woman thing) and I cant control the stress (a little though I can and I know it), what I can control is how I handle it. Something new I learned on my lovely journey!

A little bit more of change

What changes in our life as the days go by? Each person has their own story. For me, it’s been a roller coaster. From getting a product review (got the products in on Monday), watching the plants grow like crazy (we’ve loved that), honing down on my business plan, getting very specific about what I really want to do, and starting to sew (I made pillows!!). These things are so wonderful, little, yet exciting for me and the twins.

                So I started reaching out for products to review and I got one! I am so excited about that. It is a hair growth product for black girls or women of color and I have been using it since Monday on both me and my daughter’s hair. I can see the shine in her hair and I notice the strength of mine. I will be posting pictures and reviews on Mondays and this way I can have a diary of my journey with this.

  The next thing is super amazing! My baby sister, Megan, graduated from cosmetology school this past week. She is officially all done with school and can style, cut, color, do nails, etc. and she is really good at it. Next her state exams and then working for a salon or doing something of her own. I am so proud of her. My niece, Dichelle, graduated from Kindergarten to 1^st grade this week as well. She is officially out of school and a 1^st grader, I really can’t believe how much time flies.

                Our plants have grown amazingly well and they are so vibrant and beautiful and I love how the twins are taking so much time and effort into growing these two things. Taking the time to enjoy the process, to water them every day, and then to make sure they are outside all day to get the fresh air and the sun that is needed. I posted pictures below of our progress and how happy they are. 

 

                My business plans and life plans have changed a bit over the course of these past few months. I wanted to try and make some pillowcase dresses for my girl, Jazzy, and my nieces. I wanted to sell them online and really get them going…however, I will keep this as my hobby. Something I am really good at is finding things, it’s my niche. From finding wedding items to something someone wants, so I am researching and looking into being a personal assistant/concierge. This will allow me to be creative and to be with my kids a lot, still work from home, and still get paid. It’s all in the works and in my thought process.

                These are the small, yet major, changes and I love it! I went through a really bad few months and trusted a friend who I shouldn’t have and things got rough. However, the lessons I have learned and the growth from these few months has been really amazing and I wouldn’t change it for anything. I hope you take the steps to enjoy the changes and embrace them all.