A lovely welcome

So I am playing catch up. November and December I didn’t blog, not because I didn’t want to, but because I couldn’t find the energy after working 10 hours a day at my job, doing motherly things with the twins, and then trying to blog about life.

However, I am back, work is still crazy, I’m still doing motherly things, but I learned a few things about putting some things on the back burner and handling some other things first…I think they call that prioritizing.

My business has picked up a bit, I love wedding planning. Went into a partnership with a good friend, we run a DIY wedding workshop company, more than just DIY weddings, but that is the main premise, and we are doing well in that area.

I have been working on (in my mind) writing down some of my goals. Spiritually, personal, and business wise. I think I know where and why I keep messing up in the New Year. I don’t write things out and I love writing things out. I am actually going to be writing out those things tonight and then typing them up, for some reason that works so well for me.

This isn’t a long, well thought out post, just something I wanted to share and say hi to all again! I am going to get to writing about all the wonderful things going on, especially excited about our blogging challenge happening in two weeks.

My biggest fear...

I have many fears and I don't know where to start. I am scared of certain type of people, scared of commitment and scared of spiders...well, all bugs actually, they scare me. However, this is about my biggest fear and it is a big one.

My biggest fear is being happy. Finally being able to succeed in things, achieve goals, to be happy, and to make something of myself. My whole life I have been told I would never be better than what I was right then, or that I wouldn't do anything but fail, or I couldn't make something of myself. I believed it and it has kept me back from a lot of things.

Lately, I have been on a self discovery journey, giving myself a makeover and really learning about me. I have taken this seriously really looking into my faults, asking myself questions, and wanting to improve on me. I have to say, this has been a rocky ride and some things I see in me I don't like but I am willing and wanting to change. 

My fear of being happy and succeeding in life comes from a rough childhood, but it also comes from me stopping me, doubting and beating myself up. I am so scared that once I reach happiness or succeeding, I will fail people and their new expectations of me. I will not know what to do after reaching that thrill of being happy, falling in love, or having a successful business. I don't want to be where I am at any more and I am willing and wanting to change. I want to embrace my failures, my goals, and my dreams and make them happen. I know with my new outlook, what I now know about myself, I can take the tools and work on me.

There is a CD series called, "Your Wish is Your Command"?  it is a 14 disk series and I heard it is really good, I am going to start listening to it. One of my good friends was talking to me about this and she said he spoke about how elephants are strong enough (as an adult) to pull themselves out of their chains. When they are babies, they get chained up, and yank on their chains, but don't have the strength yet to pull themselves free. When they become adults, they get ready to try, but immediately stop. 

As human beings, we allow our minds to stay chained and I know for a fact that is my issue. I was chained young and never broke them as an adult. This is my time for breaking those chains. I know in my life I have always put up road blocks right before something amazing happens to me. I put up defenses, barriers, make myself just give up, instead of moving forward. 

I have always let my fears control me, but now it is my time to control my fears, move forward, and really step out and keep on going. I may have fears of failure, not falling in love, being hurt, not being successful, or other chained fears, but as long as I make sure I stay OUT of my comfort zone, ignore the doubts I put myself through or the action of stopping myself, I can be happy and succeed. 

What happens next is just more happiness, more success, more rocking things out, more making me happy. I have a clear path, I may take some bumps but it will help me in the long run, help me to grow, help me to be the best me.

What’s your fear and how will you conquer it?

Whenever you feel uncomfortable, instead of retreating back into your old comfort zone, pat yourself on the back and say, "I must be growing," and continue moving forward. - T. Harv Eker

Little learnings

Ive learned so much about myself lately and things keep getting better. Ive learned that I enjoy working with my supervisor, who is a pretty decent guy. He is pretty too lol

Ive learned that your body CRAVES sleep and that staying up and pushing yourself isnt the smartest way too go, especially with kids, Its not fair to yourself or your body.

I am a pretty good mom and it shows, I dont do much since Im a single mom, but what me and the twins do, it seems to be pretty amazing.

I learned that working in a DS business that you love and can back up the product, makes for an excellent sales person and team!

Speaking of which, join my team now for So Chic Bag Boutique at http://erikas.myscbb.com/index.php and sign up now for FREE!!

Ive learned many small and many big things about me, most importantly that I am starting to like me and my place on this earth.

Have you learned something today?