Keep on swimming....keep on swimming

Yes, we must keep on swimming! I have been talking about dreams and moving forward with them. On Friday I made the announcement about working as a travel agent and starting my wedding/event planning business. I am so beyond excited about moving forward with my dreams, goals, and inspirational times.

I have been so wrapped up into letting others destroy my dreams, my goals, and even just daily things that it’s been hard to come up from that cloud of despair. However, I have two lovely reasons to get out of that funk. Jazzy and Zeke have been amazing kids and a life joy that I couldn't and wouldn't even replace. I figured with focus, drive, ambition, and my own will everything will fall into place…especially with hard work.

I want to teach my kids that no matter what someone else says, we can always overcome and continue to fight. I want that deeply engraved into their little hearts and souls. I want them to be able to be happy at all times and enjoy their fails and successes.

When we teach our kids something, they do learn it, but they see us being their example first. I am going to make sure from here on out, that I am a proud and amazing example to my kids. I have been working on my dreams, my goals, and other things that I want to accomplish, writing down the deadlines, emailing people and literally putting my mind, heart, and soul into it. The fruitage of my hard work will come to surface and I do hope that you are here to enjoy it with us.

Oooh and I finally have a schedule for my blog. Wednesdays from here on out will be ramblings, things that I love to chat about (besides my kids) and inspirational moments, etc. I have some other ideas and structural design for my blog! I do hope you enjoy it!

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Thanks,

Erika S.

Continue your dream...

Everyone is always saying how you should never let someone steal your joy or your happiness; I have come to realize that you should never let someone steal your dreams. People come into your life and you share your dreams with them and then you get someone who is always willing to tell you all the negative or that you will never do it or that you won’t get as far as you think. Those are the people who are there to steal your joy, your happiness, and your dreams. Don’t let them do that. 

This is something I have learned to work on and I am trying to make sure I don’t let anyone steal my dreams. I did that all my life, and I would see my dreams come true for someone else, and I would simply I’ve up on my dreams and desires and go into a self pity mode. I don’t want to always be giving up on myself because someone else does and doesn’t want to believe in me.

I have to believe in myself first and then be able to accomplish and do anything that I can, not only for myself, but for my kids as well. I want them to grow up with a confidence of self worth that I had to learn on my own and still struggle with today. 

Continue to shine on even with others turn off their lights and don’t want to turn them on. Be happy with you and be happy with your own accomplishments, no matter how small. Continue to dream and keep on working on your dreams. 

Amazed

2012 was a horrible year. I hated it so much...if it wasn't one thing it was another. Well, I got to change some things around and started working on my happiness. Got back into my blog, noting and writing about my journey, looking into really wanting to help and change others’ lives, even with my own crazy story. I wanted to be in charge of my life and how I was going to handle and react to things. That is hard for me since I never have been really happy with myself, never knew how to make myself stop being so angry, and my reaction time was always 0-mad angry within seconds. So I started to change.

Yes, there have been some hiccups along the way, I have stopped trying and went back to my Debby Downer ways, or I would be the victim, instead of rescuing myself. However, when December 31, 2012 came and I celebrated it on the road with my twins as we were driving from Arizona to Colorado Springs, CO...I realized that I was happy...that I really loved me. I was on my way to making 2013 a really good year. Don't get me wrong its been a bit of a mess at some points, but hearing from people saying that they've noticed my changes, or that others let me know they are inspired by me (I know right lol) that it made me want to be better.

March to April was really tough. I felt a bit betrayed and hurt by someone I cared about and that took me for a bit of a loop on this journey. However, after much prayer, much crying, and much "Erika, just stop it." I finally have let that part of my life go. It happened, I didn't change it or speak up, and now it is done. However, the friends that I have had that have helped me out...simply floored me. The ones that picked me up emotionally, physically, mentally, and financially, I couldn’t believe I had so much love given to me.

When I decided to change my course of life in 2012, I let go of many people who I barely spoke to, people who continuously used me for their gain, and others that I knew there wasn't going to be nothing there. Instead, I started speaking more to those that were and have been my friends. A group of ladies that have helped me out with encouraging words, to my best friend for just keeping it real with me, to my mom and family just being supportive, letting me rant.

So when everything happened in March and April, I thought I was alone, but it was those friends, the ones I had laid roots with, the family that weren't blood related but still were family...they came to my rescue and I have loved that ever since.

In our life, we have people who come into our life for moments, for seconds, to be there to teach us something or for us to teach them something. We have people in our life who we believe are our friends, but turn out to be not. I named this post Amazed because I am, once again, amazed by how our life changes, how many friends I have, how things have been happening for me and working with me and teaching me lessons. I am amazed that I get so much love from the twins, amazed by my own talents, strengths, and my friends.

2013 has been rough but it has been amazing as well. I got a job after not having one for five months, I got my tooth pulled on Tuesday and on Wednesday, after work, my daughter simply came up to me and rubbed my face and goes "Mommy, how are you feeling? Can I kiss your ouchie?" How amazing is a child’s love!?!?  This year may have a rocky start, but its going to have a great middle and a fantastic end.

How have you been amazed?

What makes a day perfect?

...I don't know about you, but my kids seem to do the trick! I tend to carry a lot of stress in my shoulders and my back. I don't have too many girlfriends and I don't gossip or do anything of that nature, I tend to keep to myself. I am very social, love being around people, but lately I have been so focused on my stress, it has been hard to be "me". 

Today I took a moment and stepped back from everything going on and realized that I missed not having too much stress, that I missed being stress free. I had a few things going on these past few months that cause this stress, but I soon noticed that no matter what I do, the bills will still b there, the worry, the stress...its not going any where.

So, in stepping back today, I had an amazing day with the twins. Even stressed out, I could have an amazing day with them. They literally light up my life with their ways. I enjoy everything about them. My blog post today is just ramblings from yesterday. I enjoyed their laughter, their jumping up and down, my daughters tumbling (cant wait for her tumbling/dance classes to start), my sons innocent smile and the way his eyes light up when he does smile, and my sons stutter (its amazingly cute). I enjoyed just being a mom today! We went swimming...correction, my kids went swimming. I dislike our new pool in our apartment community. They tore out a perfectly good one (9feet, I might add), to replace it with a 5 foot, freezing cold pool. They say its heated but its solar panel heated, meaning if it only gets to 70...then the pool is only at 60. It is the dumbest thing and the whole community hates it, except the UCCS students who now are residents there since UCCS master leased two buildings...oh, I digress.

So, back to being a mom...today was splendid and super amazing. There isn't hardly ever anything to do in Colorado Springs, you always have to go up to Denver. However, I was reminded that the Territory Days are going on this weekend and I am taking the twins shortly. This is a huge vendor event, from all types of vendors, DIY, jewelry, candles, makeup, food (my fav) and musicians of all types, bands in different locations to wow each type of Coloradoan, and loads of just fun! I can't wait to show you all some amazing pictures!

Today taught me a lot though...I cant control what others do (even though I try...it is a Swift woman thing) and I cant control the stress (a little though I can and I know it), what I can control is how I handle it. Something new I learned on my lovely journey!

Change...I don't think I have any :)

In all our journeys of life, we have to accept the changes that come with it. My twins and I have dealt with many changes...some good, some bad, but all worth it. Changes help us create balance and structure and help us to accept something that isn't working for us.

So this post will be short because I am gearing up for a fantastic blog hop...I have never done one before and am beyond excited. From what information I have found out about a blog hop is that you add a link to your site (May Blog Roll) and then "hop" to each blog, follow, read, and comment on their posts (commenting optional I believe) and then you have built followers and can also now post to an actual audience.

This is so exciting for me and if you have never done one, and want to do one, check out Bloggy Moms May Blog Hop. This site is one of my favorites and I am so happy I found this site. +Tiffany Noth  has been an amazing inspiration to blog, to learn about blogging, to create a site for moms, and its brought/taught me so much! I hope to attend her blog-ference (conference) in Sept, I am working on that goal now.

As you also know, I wanted to make my blog more money and income savvy, I would like to bring in advertisers on my website, link my blog to my website, and just bring in some little extra income. I want my blog to be a mom two twins, single mom, and mommy inspirational site. I want to start posting more pictures of the things me and the twins have done and will be doing. I would like to post our science projects, our outings and adventures, and just what consists of our journey.

I would also like my site to be popular and to host giveaways, do reviews, and work with other blogging moms or giveaway sites to host huge prize giveaways. I know...I know...one thing at a time and for me that is getting more structured. I now have a blog post listing for myself that I will do on each day. For instance, on Fridays, it will be Fantastic Fridays, showing all the wonderful things that have happened on that Friday, and what made it fantastic for us. So watch out for these wonderful days :)

I guess this wasn't so short after all. I hope you all enjoy our blog and continue to follow us.

Thanks,
Erika S.

Add New...

Sometimes I wish there were more “me” to go around. I love my job, Public Relations Director at Ruffhouse Athletics, and I love my twins, but sometimes I wish I had another Erika around to help with everything.

I would love to see everyone having a real personal assistant or if you could just type in things that need to be done and its printed out, mailed, or just taken care of for you. I love being a mom, however, I really wish I could have another hour or two so I could spend more time with them. I love my twins and they are my world and sometimes I miss their activities because I am working and they are at school, which is fine.

I do love being tired though…which is weird, but I do love it. I love the feeling of being tired because then you have done something for that day. You have accomplished so much your body is tired or you have done a few things but they were important to the cause. So that is why I like being tired…I know it is weird.

This was a small post but I wanted to share with you all.

Thanks,

Erika S

My biggest fear...

I have many fears and I don't know where to start. I am scared of certain type of people, scared of commitment and scared of spiders...well, all bugs actually, they scare me. However, this is about my biggest fear and it is a big one.

My biggest fear is being happy. Finally being able to succeed in things, achieve goals, to be happy, and to make something of myself. My whole life I have been told I would never be better than what I was right then, or that I wouldn't do anything but fail, or I couldn't make something of myself. I believed it and it has kept me back from a lot of things.

Lately, I have been on a self discovery journey, giving myself a makeover and really learning about me. I have taken this seriously really looking into my faults, asking myself questions, and wanting to improve on me. I have to say, this has been a rocky ride and some things I see in me I don't like but I am willing and wanting to change. 

My fear of being happy and succeeding in life comes from a rough childhood, but it also comes from me stopping me, doubting and beating myself up. I am so scared that once I reach happiness or succeeding, I will fail people and their new expectations of me. I will not know what to do after reaching that thrill of being happy, falling in love, or having a successful business. I don't want to be where I am at any more and I am willing and wanting to change. I want to embrace my failures, my goals, and my dreams and make them happen. I know with my new outlook, what I now know about myself, I can take the tools and work on me.

There is a CD series called, "Your Wish is Your Command"?  it is a 14 disk series and I heard it is really good, I am going to start listening to it. One of my good friends was talking to me about this and she said he spoke about how elephants are strong enough (as an adult) to pull themselves out of their chains. When they are babies, they get chained up, and yank on their chains, but don't have the strength yet to pull themselves free. When they become adults, they get ready to try, but immediately stop. 

As human beings, we allow our minds to stay chained and I know for a fact that is my issue. I was chained young and never broke them as an adult. This is my time for breaking those chains. I know in my life I have always put up road blocks right before something amazing happens to me. I put up defenses, barriers, make myself just give up, instead of moving forward. 

I have always let my fears control me, but now it is my time to control my fears, move forward, and really step out and keep on going. I may have fears of failure, not falling in love, being hurt, not being successful, or other chained fears, but as long as I make sure I stay OUT of my comfort zone, ignore the doubts I put myself through or the action of stopping myself, I can be happy and succeed. 

What happens next is just more happiness, more success, more rocking things out, more making me happy. I have a clear path, I may take some bumps but it will help me in the long run, help me to grow, help me to be the best me.

What’s your fear and how will you conquer it?

Whenever you feel uncomfortable, instead of retreating back into your old comfort zone, pat yourself on the back and say, "I must be growing," and continue moving forward. - T. Harv Eker

The most important thing

Right now, my life has come and gone in many different situations, some ideal and some not so ideal. I have always believed that the moment you fail at something, you failed. I have started learning in myself that that saying isn't true in the least.

When we fail, we succeed and learn so much more about ourselves, what we can do after we get up, and the joys of learning from our mistakes and the points where we went wrong.

My biggest success are my kids, not to brag, but my babies are awesome! I love watching them play, I love watching them learn, and try new things, and I love their love. How unique God is to give us children who just love unconditionally. I sometimes feel like I have failed in parenting, raising them, or have failed them, but I think they have turned out to be very respectable, loving, and giving kids.

Something I am starting with them is a chore sheet and a goal sheet. I found them at my favorite place in the whole world (Target) and they were only $1.00. They are pretty sweet...I can write in five goals for the week and place stickers in them each as they make and complete each goal, on their own or with my help. There are small You Did It awards and stickers in the booklet as well. I think its a lovely little tool.

I want to be more creative with them, trying new things, going for nature walks, especially since they do love walking and being outdoors. I think that this will help in strengthening our bond. I think it will help me as well.

Another thing I have decided to work on, is my blogging. It is a goal I made for March...to get back into blogging. I don't want to just make money off my blog and I don't want to just do giveaways, but I want passionate followers, ladies who comment on a daily basis, and a media kit....that would be amazing. To start, I am teaming up with a web (blog) designer to create a more engaging and interactive website and blog site. I want don't want to copy other mom blogs out there, especially the ones I love to follow, but I do want that feel of being known and being respected by other mom blogs.

So this will start off my new blogging experience and I can start giveaways, writing for other companies, and being a awesome mommy blogger.

So, to all those worried about your failures, don't be...they help us with our success. I think a failure is a way of making sure we stay humble, making sure we are working on ourselves continuously  and making sure we always know how to get back up. At least that is how I see it.

Hope your Monday is a wonderful start to the rest of your week.

What makes a friend?

I didnt have a fantastic life growing up and my childhood had way more shares of troubles than good times, however, I had my family.

In my teen years, I was awkward, a wallflower, dealing with my childhood, and wanting to be...loved and accepted.

As I turned into an adult, I acted out, making decisions I now look back on and regret, wish I had changed, made myself more clear to others, and stood up for myself. Ive had a rough adult life too lol...

Now as I look back and ponder on things and fully accept my life for what it is, I get this sense of joy, the sense of contentment in me. I have had my shares of ups and downs, like anyone does, and had my woes and happy times. What matters now, though, are the ones i continue to share my happy times with.

As I look around me though, there aren't many people I can say I want to share those times with. My kids are special and will always be the ones I share my happiness with first and foremost. I notice that most of my family is on Facebook and although we keep in touch, I doubt many of them know my struggle, my new fears, and my new happiness. Some family members dont even know my kids names.

Most of my "friends" cant return a phone or a basic text message without some reason why I shouldve made contact first (um, I have two two year olds, thanks) or they dont return it period. Most of my "friends" dont even know where Im at because once I got pregnant, the world changed. I was no longer the single, lets go out every weekend, party Erika...I was the chilled, dont say that around my baby Erika. Ive become a mom and who wants to hang around a mom with twins hanging on her legs (I do, actually!!!)

So with that realization, I looked closely at the people that have really been there for me, calling ME up and seeing if I was ok, texting me, helping me out...without strings attached. Ive always been the motivator in my friends life, the natural born encouraging one, the friend thats always willing to be there for you.

So I ask you, What makes a friend? Them being them. a friend is someone who is not only a friend in word but in deed as well. Thankfully, the handful of friends I do have, have been so awesome and so terrific, it makes a girl want to cry! Recently one has helped me out a lot, talking to me, keeping me company, and just being there for me (even after only knowing me for little less than a week). A friendship isnt based on who has done what and for how long, but the bond and the strength in between those two people! (thats a shout out to a special mama!!)

In that same note, if you dont have "family" remember who your true friends are and remember that family doesnt always have to be blood related...just there for you! Im glad that lately, with so much going on in my life, Ive had some amazing, awe inspiring, loving, giving , creative, wonderful, patient, kind, long suffering, fruitful, successful, friends...friends who love me for me and accept me for me.

So I say to you, look around and see how many real friends you have...cause I know now that I have a few. A very special few!!

Encouragement

How do you go about giving someone encouragement? Is it from love, endurance, or just because you want them happy. I plan on figuring that out.

I know how to give encouragement, but when I am looking for encouragement, it seems no one is around...but I know for sure I can give encouragement to myself and to others. I know within me is a great woman, a fantastic mom and someone who is willing and able to be the best she can be.

Most of us struggle with depression, as I do, and encouragement seems to help, yet sometimes it seems only to put me into more of a heavy depression.

I am willing to change that! I hope that I soon have another job, a booming business, and am at a place I really want to be.

So, tonight, I will report back because I want all to be encouraged by one another...and I simply love blogging (I need to do it more...really I do)! See you lovely people tonight~

OMG!!

So, Ive been dating this wonderfully great guy and he has been simply amazing. His name is Joel, Ive known him for a few years now, but never seemed to like him like that. So we stayed friends!

I moved back home (from AZ to CO) in December and it was the greatest, yet most stressful thing for me. I wanted to be happy...inside and out, yet things werent looking like that was going to happen. Well, Joel pops into my life the moment I start praying for better. I then see him with the twins and realize that I DO like him like that.

So, now we are dating! Its been a glorious time and this...start to my future has felt so right and so comfortable. He is encouraging, loving, wonderful and full of life and love. He is smart, talented, funny and so spiritual. He loves the kids as if they were his own and he makes sure they are taken care of has well.

I couldnt have asked for anyone better and I am so glad that God was listening to my prayer and gave me what I needed and not just what I wanted.

So, here is the awesome part as well. We know we want to get married. we have a date (sept 16, 2011) and we know our budget (5k). I dont have a ring yet but he is going to purpose in March!! We arent your traditional couple and since I do have kids already, we've been very open on this relationship!

The wedding planner in me has been bursting with things to do, the checklists and everything else that only goes into the planning process, not to mention handling the wedding. However the respective, lets not talk about anything until after we are officially engaged girlfriend is BURSTING to start planning.

Well, my lovely blog followers, he gave me the green light tonight and told me to plan my heart out! I wanted to share my joy and excitement with you all!! I started another blog for my wedding planning, the new journey, the changes and PICTURES!!!
http://meyouthemforever.blogspot.com/

I hope you all follow my journey!

Oh...PS!!!! He said he was thinking of proposing sooner rather than later....an engagement story might be here soon!!!

Hello Again!!

Its been such a while since my last post. Lots of things have happened!!!

First, my twins have grown. We went to AZ after their yearly checkup and they were above average on their growth and weight! Super awesome! I love being their mom, they amaze me everyday and continue to make me smile no matter what. I do stress out over things and make little things huge but my kids always seem to make things better and oh so...ok.

Second, I have fallen in love with Joel Carpenter and he has my heart. Who would've thought that I would be in love with a man I never thought of as my future mate?! He is simply wonderful and the kids love him so much and yes, he treats them as his own, like he is their dad. I am falling in love with him and its so nice! Ive never been this happy and its amazing!

Third, I joined My Media Savings which pays me to post their coupons or samples on my blog (check out the next page)! I just post pictures and reviews of the samples, however, I would LOVE LOVE LOVE for you all (my lovely followers) to click on the link and help me get a little (yes, little) paycheck and support my sample and coupon habit!

Fourth, I have decided to work from home. Its been really nice being at home and I tried going to work today..it sucked! From clocking in to clockin out. I need to motivate myself a bit more for my Party Lite and start getting some people to host parties, either online or in their home.

I am sorry I havent posted a while and I promise to do better!! Blogging and having followers and being online and blogging and reading other mom blogs and just being a bloggy mom as been so AWESOME and a great relief. So, I leave you this midnight and will post my first sample for you all tomorrow morning..John F. and the next one is Teleflora!!