In my teen years, I was awkward, a wallflower, dealing with my childhood, and wanting to be...loved and accepted.
As I turned into an adult, I acted out, making decisions I now look back on and regret, wish I had changed, made myself more clear to others, and stood up for myself. Ive had a rough adult life too lol...
Now as I look back and ponder on things and fully accept my life for what it is, I get this sense of joy, the sense of contentment in me. I have had my shares of ups and downs, like anyone does, and had my woes and happy times. What matters now, though, are the ones i continue to share my happy times with.
As I look around me though, there aren't many people I can say I want to share those times with. My kids are special and will always be the ones I share my happiness with first and foremost. I notice that most of my family is on Facebook and although we keep in touch, I doubt many of them know my struggle, my new fears, and my new happiness. Some family members dont even know my kids names.
Most of my "friends" cant return a phone or a basic text message without some reason why I shouldve made contact first (um, I have two two year olds, thanks) or they dont return it period. Most of my "friends" dont even know where Im at because once I got pregnant, the world changed. I was no longer the single, lets go out every weekend, party Erika...I was the chilled, dont say that around my baby Erika. Ive become a mom and who wants to hang around a mom with twins hanging on her legs (I do, actually!!!)
So with that realization, I looked closely at the people that have really been there for me, calling ME up and seeing if I was ok, texting me, helping me out...without strings attached. Ive always been the motivator in my friends life, the natural born encouraging one, the friend thats always willing to be there for you.
So I ask you, What makes a friend? Them being them. a friend is someone who is not only a friend in word but in deed as well. Thankfully, the handful of friends I do have, have been so awesome and so terrific, it makes a girl want to cry! Recently one has helped me out a lot, talking to me, keeping me company, and just being there for me (even after only knowing me for little less than a week). A friendship isnt based on who has done what and for how long, but the bond and the strength in between those two people! (thats a shout out to a special mama!!)
In that same note, if you dont have "family" remember who your true friends are and remember that family doesnt always have to be blood related...just there for you! Im glad that lately, with so much going on in my life, Ive had some amazing, awe inspiring, loving, giving , creative, wonderful, patient, kind, long suffering, fruitful, successful, friends...friends who love me for me and accept me for me.
So I say to you, look around and see how many real friends you have...cause I know now that I have a few. A very special few!!