Monday, October 21, 2013

Oh I adore thee

The best time to do something is (or was) yesterday…since yesterday is gone, today is a great place to start. I was weak on my September blogging challenge, so I want to change that and blog every day in November. I love to blog, its fun, and can be rewarding in the long run, but I want it to be awesome as well, not just a chore for me. The blog is coming along nicely with the new changes for a lifestyle blog, with recipes (which means cooking for me yay!), changes in habits and our life (how can you go wrong, right?), and a new outlook on everything.

This life has been a journey of mine and I wish there were easier times and moments where things could have gone or ran smoother, but I see the accomplishments I have done and I am really happy about those. I notice the lessons I’ve personally learned and the pain that comes with those lessons. Struggle builds character, at least which is what my mom says. I think it builds a certain amount of character, but mainly strength in yourself and what you can do when the chips are down and things aren’t going the right way.
As you know, if you follow or read this (which I hope you all do), Monday’s I usually dedicate to Monday Morning Moments, a piece of time where you can reflect on the weekend, or a lesson learned, a moment that you cherish and want to make sure to share to get your day started right. Today’s Moment is dedicated to my twins, who a lot of things are dedicated to them; however, today I owe them so much more.

As many of you know (or don’t know), I was royally screwed over by a friend and his girlfriend in Denver, Co. I struggled with letting that go, learning to forgive, and really forgiving, and not taking action against them, and not to harp on it. That has been rough. However, knowing I have the twins and their love and their approval has been amazingly wonderful. I’ve come to the conclusion that people will do bad things to others and not lose one night of rest and when they begin to feel guilty; they push it aside and look to their riches and successes. I actually wish the best for the people that hurt me, that screwed me over, that really made things difficult for me. I wish them success because they gave me something else…a determination to keep going forward, to move mountains so I don’t struggle or reach that black put of despair ever again, they gave me my kids who looked up to me and knew it would be handled and things would be ok. They took a lot away from me, lied on and about me, sent me a letter discrediting myself and my kids even, but I smile now because I have forgiven them, I wish them well, and in the end I know god will handle things.

As for right now though, I do know that my twins got me through a period of hate and ugliness, they got me through a few months of tears, doubts in myself, and helped me overcome weaknesses. They were my rock and I love them for that and will always cherish that more than anyone could ever know. I don’t even think of it as being screwed over any more, I think of it as a gift, a blessing in disguise, to really know and love my kids.

I hope everyone has a moment that they can stare at their kids, their loved ones, or a friend and know that through pain and despair that person (or persons) was there for you and made you the people who are today and who you will keep becoming. So today, I started something new…a letter to each kid, telling them that they are loved, my goals and dreams for them, but reminding them that no matter what happens, I love them. So this blog post as been all over the place, but Mondays are usually like that, from starting something new and finishing it, to believing in yourself, to looking past the negative and seeing all the good around you, to being on a journey and letting it happen! Here is to you and your Monday Moment.